& Tierra Says :p

I lose interest real quickly.

itsmaylove:

Every now & then a cute or hot boy would hit me up & I’d get hyped like DAMN. We’d start talking & all that cute shit then eventually I’d get tired of you and just disappear off the face of the earth. Then to a point when it’s just plain annoying that you keep hitting me up. Not even with boys, in general I’d lose interest with a lot of other things. & Then there’s those certain things that keep me clinged onto, you know who & what you are. & That means you’re special.

 I agree. You need to be beyond just a cute face because that does get boring

Chapter Five-

Everyone has that one person in their life that leaves a huge impact on them and values their opinion. For some it’s their mom, dad, or bestfriend. For me it’s my aunt Lynne. Her full name is Rosalynne and i think that is soo plain for someone with such a bright personality like Lynne. Lynne is an interesting character in my life. She’s 18 and is only a year older than me. We practically grew up together. I don’t know what my father’s mom was thinking when she had a baby at 45, but I’m happy i got Lynne. Now that she’s 18 she thinks she’s all grown up, and she does that adult thing when they say, I have more life experience and i was on this earth longer so i should know. It’s truly irritating. For the most part she’s right, but that’s not the point. I decided to ask her what to do about J. Now it’s been 6 months and i think he’s growing a little impatient. Sometimes when we watch movies on the couch and he holds my hand, his fingers slowly slip from my hand and drop to between my thighs. I move him off of me, but he doesn’t always get the hint. If it’s not that, he’ll move my hand to touch his “magic stick” and it makes me very uncomfortable. The last time he did it i slapped him right across his face, I didn’t even realize i was doing it while i was. he laughed but i think it was only to prevent things from being awkward. I asked Lynne what she thought i should do, and she told me to leave him. “I seen his kind before. I can notice them from a while away. They seem like there the whole package, handsome, charming, and willing to wait…if he was willing to wait he wouldn’t be testing your boundaries.” “I understand what your’e saying but you don’t know him. You can’t judge him off of your past experiences.” “Gen i love you, i only have your best interest at heart and I’m tellen you this boy is no good.” Ofcourse i ignored what she said and continued to see J. I started talking to some of my “friends” about him, and they told me the only way to keep someone like J. is to please him, and that as his girl i should want to please him. I loved J. so if i knew i was going to make him happy, i would do it. This time when we were on the couch and he started feeling me up, i let him. I was real agressive, i even took off his shirt for him and unbuckled his pants. His face had shock and astonishment written all over. And he kept asking me if this is really what i want. I put my finger over his lip and silenced him. The more he asked me that i might have actually came to my senses. When all was said and done, he whispered i love you and placed me in his arms, where i fit perfectly. The next day when i got to school everyone was looking at me differently. Girls were whispering and boys were licking their lips at me. It’s not that this wasn’t normal, but this time it was different. I almost fealt like people knew about what happened last night. It could by my inner conscience, but i could be wrong. I decided to tell Lynne. I met her at her house and told her everything that happened. She thought i was extremely stupid and was soo dissapointed with me. Then that’s when she slapped me. In my mind i blacked out and backhanded her, and without knowing my own strength she fell down the stairs outside of her apartment. I rushed to her and cried and pleaded for her to say something, anything, so i knew she was conscious. She said nothing so i dialed 911 as fast as i could. When dialing the police my biggest fear wouldn’t be that i would be arrested, my biggest fear would be that i would never get to see Lynne again. The seconds felt like hours as i was waiting in the waiting room on an update on Lynne’s condition. The nurse walked in and I immediately knew it was bad news through her body language. “Gen I am soo sorry that i have to be the one to tell you this, but Rosalynne did not survive her injuries”. “She’s d-“. “She’s gone.” “I did this. I did this to her. Nurse Kelly call the police and have them lock me up.” “Genisis you are not responsible at all. Rosalynne was already in critcial condition. We ran some bloodwork and realized a frequent history of vessels popping inside of her which seemed like a warning sign for stroke. Today the vessel actually popped inside of her brain which is called an annurism.” “Nurse Kelly, you don’t understand, I’m the reason Lynne fell in the first place, if she hadn’t fell she’d still be here”. “Not necessarily Gen, you can get an annurism while your sleep, driving, reading a book…”. “Or falling down stairs because of your selfish, stupid niece”. “Gen, no matter what, know that you are in no way responsible for this. I am a medical professional. Trust me.”. I didn’t care what Nurse Kelly had to say. I felt in every way possible responsible for Lynne’s death and i will never forgive myself for it. Lynne was my other half. We had our own language, jokes, and she was the only person besides me that I could count on to know the choreography of every music video. I loved Lynne soo much. She wasn’t just my aunt, she was my Bestfriend, my only friend. How can the verdict read not guilty when ther’es blood all over my hands?

Chapter Four-

So every day since then, my 6nth period has been shared with J. With that there were many late night phone calls, flirty text messages, laughs and smiles. We were “hooking up” for about four months now. J. asked me to come to Red Lobster with him so I made sure i was ready at five and wore something cute, but with J. i didn’t really need to do any of that. There were plenty of times that we just walked around my block together holding hands with my hair tied up and no makeup. I felt comfortable in my own skin and i loved that about him. OMG i just used the L word. We aren’t even exclusive yet so that can’t possibly be what I’m feeling…or is it? When we got to Red Lobster we sat down and i kindly helped myself to some cheddar bay biscuits. “So you can eat now huh?”. “Child please! don’t leave me alone with some of these biscuits!”. “On a serious note tho, Gen i took you out today to show you how serious I am about you. I respected the fact that you needed to feel me out before you decided to jump into anything, but we’ve been kicking it for a while now and i want to know where we stand…how do you feel about us? “I deffinately realized now after four months that i really enjoy spending time with you and i trust you enough to take the next step… I would hate to see you taking out another girl.” “So it’s official your’e my girl?” “Yes J. It’s officall”. “You know how to really make it official?” “Umm a toast maybe?” “Sure, A toast to Mr. & Mrs. Collins, but you Gen could call me daddy”. “Now i know you already know what the answer is going to be”. He smiled and said “You know i really do love your sense of humor”. Hmm he used the L word to. Maybee things are working out how  i wanted them to be. We decided to set our “anniversary” as the day J. took me out to get icecream. We’re five months now and we’re a week shy of becoming seniors. So i call J. to ask him what he plans on doing for the summer. “J.?” “Yes baby.” ” I know your working out, but i was just thinking and i really couldn’t wait so i had to know, umm school is almost over. Are you going to continue to see me throught the summer?” “Ofcourse crazy lady, why wouldn’t I?” I have a huge sigh of relief. ” I don’t know sometimes people want to lose the commitment with the summertime”. “Not me, don’t you go off worrying your pretty head, but really babe i got to go. Love you.” “I love you too call me tonight”. “I will”. With that i was pretty confident that i had a keeper. Nothing could possibly go wrong. So i thought…

Chapter Three -

It’s the beginning of the new semester so minor changes are being made to our schedule. I arrive at homeroom to pick up my new schedule and realize that my lunch period has changed to 6th which is alot better then 8nth period lunch. Instead of art I’m taking child psychology and besides that my schedule is pretty much the same. I have child psych 1st, and my teacher seemes like she’s pretty cool and the majority of my class is full of girls. As soon as Ms. Hutchinson finished explaining the classroom rules & regulations 1st period was over and the rest of my day moved just as fast. Now It’s 6th period and i walk into the cafteria and see a bunch of new faces. I found an empty table and decided to make it my permanent seat for the year. It was just me, my ipod, an apple and a sandwhich until J. appeared. Just my luck that i would end up in the same period as him. He sits next to me and askes me “Why are you sitting here all alone?”. I explain to him that i don’t really have any friends and i didn’t have this period in the previous semester. He replies “That is no reason for a pretty little thing like you to be here all alone. How about you take you & your fine ass into my whip so i can get you some real lunch”. I didn’t even know how to react. It deffinately beats this cafeteria food and staying alone at this table to i worked up the nerve to say “Only if It’s a date”. He smiled and said “Where do you want to go?”. Since i had class next period i had to keep it local, and i already bought a sandwhich so i figured we should go light and get some icecream. “How about we go to the deli and get some icecream if that’s cool with you?”. “Girl i know your a model and everything, but that doesn’t mean you have to watch your figure. If you want to eat, you can eat. Don’t be afraid of some chicken and rice. You know the money is not an issue” he said. “I know the money isn’t an issue and boy i am NOT afraid to eat. Trust me i can put in work. I just want something sweet and to stay local”. “It would make sense for something sweet like you to crave something sweet” he said. “And since your not cute , what would that make you crave?”. “Hmm maybe i was wrong, your more of the spicy type.  I do love me some buffalo wings though” he said. “You just love you some good food don’t cha?”. “Yuup, the woman who can make my stomache fall in love will make me fall in love”he said. And on that note i hopped in the passenger seat and we went to the deli. “What do you want?” J. asked me when it was time to order. “Umm maybe i’ll take an extra small cup of cookies’ n cream.” “This pretty lil lady would like and extra large cup of cookies’ n cream” he said. “J. you don’t have to do all of that you know.” “I know, i didn’t get it just for you. I’m getting two spoons so we can share. That’s my favorite flavor.” He said. I’m starting to like this boy alot already. The more i find out about him the more he intrigues me. The vibe is great and there was an instant connection. He had some icecream on his lip so  i said, “Boy look, you gonna need a bib because you are a hotmess, icecream drippen from your lip and all”. “Since, It’s bothering you and you have alot to say why don’t you get it for me?” I took my napkin and i wiped his lip for him and as i was doing it our faces got real close and the room fealt so hot. He looked as if he was going to kiss me if i got any closer. I quickly took my hand back and said, “There, your all set now”.”What would i do without my lil caramel cookie” he said. “You would go melt somewhere and make yellow butter peacan puddles”. I looked at my watch and noticed there was 10 minutes left in the period. I asked him to drive me back to the school and he did. When he opened the door to the passenger seat open for me, he reached in for a kiss but i made sure he hit my cheek. He laughed and said “Hmm, I like that. Going to make me wait. Check you out”. “Yuup, no kisses on the first date”. “I like that, your something different. Sure are something else. Can i have your number atleast so i can call you tomorrow so we can hook up again?”. “Sure, and i wouldn’t exactly call it hooking up just yet, it will only be the second date.” “So when does it become exclusive”. “In the near future if you play your cards right” and with that i walked away with my runway walk and turned around and winked to catch him staring at me smiling just as i had hoped. I’m not exactly sure what this boy is all about, but I’m deffinately excited to find out… 

Chapter Two-

Today as usual i have to wake up at 6 and start my daily routine. The line for the bathroom is rediculous because i spent the weekend with my mom and her 5 children. I’m pretty robotic when it comes to my routines, if something disrupts my normal pattern i go crazy. I’m highly annoyed that it’s 6:30 and i still havent showered. It defeated the whole purpose of my waking up early. I guess i have to grab a granola bar and call it my breakfast today because i’m going to be late. I’m lucky that today I knew exactly what I was going to wear to school. There is this one pair of stonewashed skinny jeans that i have that I call my “get a man” jeans. Ladies you know what I’m talking about.  I don’t have much of a body because I’m so thin but in these jeans, my shape is looking RIGHT. I don’t know why but today i feel like looking pretty. I took the time to put on my makeup, my hair is in a sexy up-do, my shirt hugs my perfect hour glass shape, my favorite jeans, and some pumps to top it off, nobody can tell me nothing. When i got to school i felt the weight of a million eyes watching me, some boys, and some girls even. I put on my runway walk, twirled my hair around a lil bit and wore a smile from ear to ear. I love it when i do myself up, it brings me a whole new found confidence and always  starts my day off right. As i get to my locker i can feel someone creeping up behind me. I felt his breath against my cheek as he whispered “hello sexy” to me. He smelled like one of those colognes that would be titled “take it off” or “endless romance”. How he crept up behind me and grabbed my waist was kinda sexy too. I can’t lie he was doing all the right things. His name was J. Collins. And yes, just the letter. Everything was sexy about him from his smoothe yellow bone skin, to his huge lips, diamond green eyes and lets not forget his athlete body. From looks alone anyone can tell that he’s trouble. I haven’t date in a while and I have been pretty lonely so if i was to give someone a try, why not choose the eye candy? I let him keep it moving and i just smiled, and looked down and waited a minute before i looked back just to see if he was watching me and he was. I silently screamed “YESSS” in my head like one of those middle school girls on T.V., but at that moment that’s exactly what i felt like. It was a crush. They are called crushes for a reason though, so I’m going to try not to fall too hard too fast, but no one can calculate how their feelings will add up for a person. For now I’m not going to worry about the complicated stuff. Let me get a date first before i start making decisions and questioning why he’s single…wait is he even single? And if he’s not… i bet i could give him a reason to change his mind. Game on.

Chapter One -

It’s 6:00 in the morning and just as every other day of my life, i get to wake up to the very loud & obnoxious sound of my alarm clock. I need to wake up and start my morning routine that consists of taking a shower, washing my face, and all that good stuff. Never would I imagine that this will all change someday. My name is Genisis Brown & I am 17 years old. I’m 5’9 medium toned, average weight, and i guess I’m average looking. I’m nothing special but I’m also not exactly hard to look at either. I guess the world sees something that I don’t, because I’m a model, but this society is corrupt as it is so how credible is their word really? There is tons of pressure resting on my shoulders to keep a certain image and weight constant. Besides that modeling is pretty cool. The lights shoot on like bright rays of sunshine and i can’t help but feel like Mariah Carey when they put on the power fan behind me, and my hair flows in all types of different directions. It’s the only time when i feel like i have some sense of control. I’m damn good at what I do, and while I’m doing it, it feels like i belong there. I embrace every character i have to play and It’s almost like i get to shortly escape reality with every photoshoot. I feel like i belong. Being a female that is 5’9 isn’t exactly easy. If your not a model or basketball player It’s almost like what are you going to do with your life? I’m taller then all my other friends and sometimes boyfriends. At school It’s deffinately a disadvantage. All the girls hate me because I’m a model, and alot of the boys are intimidated by my occupation. Alot of the boys are unemployed and don’t really even know how to react when I offer to pay for the movies or dinner. I can never win. At home it isn’t exactly any easier. My parents are divorced and i’m constantly flip flopping between the two of them. I have 5 siblings from my mom and four from my dad so if anyone complains about their brothers and sisters..think again. From that alone i should’ve expected that i would be nothing less but a screwup. Life is already as hard as it is. I’m in the 11nth grade, my most important year. Financially there is no way my parents can support me, and my modeling career isn’t going to be enough to pay my way through a university. The pressure is on. I can almost hear it antagonizing my soul, It’s flirting with the devil, trying to encourage my defeat, and as of now i can resist it. I wish i would’ve held true to that statement later on, but that will come later. There’s alot to my story that needs to be heard, and you need to hear it from the beginning. I’m pretty popular withing my circle i guess, but my friends aren’t really friends. They like the fact that I model and i have connections and sometimes get to work with important people in the industry. They like me for superficial reasons because they think I’m pretty and if there around me they can get the boys that try to talk to me. I know this and it really can’t be helped so i go along with it, but really i feel alone and I wish i had someone to talk to about it. Sometimes it gets pretty stressful being me and i know thats everybody but, to have someone to share it with, could heal the pain a little better. I often wonder why the world fills you with lies, and broadcast movies and T.V. shows that express what life would be like in a perfect world. Where prince charmings and friends who are really friends exist. I want that. i really do and i wonder what i did exactly, where i messed up to be deprived of that. The days started to grow longer, and my misery started to fill up like the shingles on the roof after a heavy storm. The nights i spent staring through my window pane at the dark sky looking for a single star just to know that my wish wasn’t going to be granted anyways. I guess now i know how the window pane got its name (pain). I try to keep a positive head and keep positive notions and pieces of hope, but always realize that what i want is intangible and out of my grasp. This is when life as i know it starts becoming all but a distant memory, and yet i can still see it all to clear…

The awkward bus ride

It’s 10:15 A.M. and I’m waiting to catch the 10:30 bus.

I check my bag and realized i forgot to pack my brush.
So my hair looks a mess, i spilled koolaid on my dress
And it seems like everything is going downhill.

I arrive on the bus and its empty so  i let out a sigh of relief.

I’m thinking this is great, i can get some piece of mind, & then there’s you.

With all the empty seats ahead of you, you come and sit next to me?

Your coffee brown skin and your chocolate brown eyes whisper goodmorning as you come my way. On any other day i would be ecstatic that someone as handsome as you  would come my way but all i can do now is fidget and hide my face and hope that you don’t talk to me.

The stops keep passing and people keep loading and others are getting off. You haven’t moved, uttered a word, or even smiled. A part of me wishes you would acknowledge me or even say hello, but the other half is greatful for your silence.

The bus is now full with all types of noises, ipods, humming, snoring even, but it’s all sounding like a tunnel to me because underneath all the noise, i can’t help but be moved by the sound of your inhale & exhale rythmetically matching with mine.

People continue to unload and we are soon approaching the last stop. We are back where we started. Alone, together on this empty bus. Our stop comes atlast and we exit from the back and before i leave he whispers to me in a language I’m not familiar with. I have no idea what he just said, but to me he said EVERYTHING. What a start to my day!

People Who crave attention

Don’t you just loveee these kinda people. I made this post today to let the people know that when you “do too much” it’s really not worth it. It’s Just PLAIN ANNOYING. Nobody cares about your little tweets about going on your Hot DAte when your date really consists of chips, remote, & T.V. It is no secret. We also don’t care about your facebook updates about people stalking you. I have stalkers myself and you don’t see me talking about it all day. Unless you plan on calling them out via facebook and are tagging them in the post (which is really harsh) i don’t want to here about it. You are NOT cool. if you really wana get rid of a stalker, put on your BIG GIRL Pants or Boxers and let the person know how you feel. If you don’t, don’t be complaining via facebook or twitter about how this person is annoying you. There are ignore/delete/blocking buttons FOR A REASON. That is all! have a nice day :)

A Lil Somethin

its me snitches!! My name is Tierra Thompson. I’m 16 years old && i have ALOT to say. Me & my comprades (friends) are constantly saying the things that everyone REALLy wants to say and is to much of a punk to do. Wallah! Now i can carry that burden for you && let you know the relationship do’s & don’ts, offer lessons of common sense, && just be your funniest critic. If you don’t like what im sayen GTFO :), && if you do follow me :)